Dating a tantra
Both as a (single) woman, a professional therapist and a practitioner of Tantra, Shaida takes a closer and critical look at current trends in the ‘dating game’.
In this, her newest book, she is highly critical of the current dating mindset as driven by materialistic advertising and programmed ways of thinking: “I would much prefer to feel the actual nature of my attraction to a person versus what I’ve been conditioned to desire…
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Closing your eyes, getting out of the realm of the visual, is one of the most transformative practices you could take up.
Then you can breathe more fully into the present moment, face your fears, communicate, and expand into areas of yet-unknown bliss.” The book represents a handy guide for those seeking to understand why their dating is (so) unsuccessful.with the added benefit of how she turns current, ‘normal’ perceptions upside down inside out, revealing the unexpected simplicity of a refreshing new paradigm in how to approach dating and finding a loving partner.Consider, for example, how she looks at the ‘right person right now’: “A tantra teacher I met the other day said to me, ‘The heart that breaks is not the True Heart.’ Wow! Our limited little hearts break because we were looking for the wrong thing…” Above all she cites Osho as the Tantric Master who provides soothing guidance and clarity on the path of expanding love, and on the part the Mind plays in setting up barriers to experience the love the heart yearns to share and experience: “Awareness changes things.In the last paragraph, Shaida summarises – perhaps inadvertently – the essence of the paradigm shift she advocates in her book: “I would have liked to thank more women teachers but have found that most female dating coaches and writers inadvertently perpetuate the conventional mindset that women are potential victims of men in the love realms, and that if women become sexual we ‘lose’ something.My experience talking with friends, clients, and spiritual brothers is that men get hurt by love and relationships as much as women do, and that we don’t need to protect ourselves from them, or from sex.”American-born Dhyan Shaida (Catherine Auman MA) began studying meditation and yoga in 1972, astrology in 1980, and explored many spiritual and personal growth paths.